Authentically Happy: Loving Life and My Companions Therein

Though I’ve always strived to better myself, rarely have I experienced changes that vaulted me forward in a single leap, like landing at the bottom of a ladder in Chutes and Ladders, the classic kids’ game that often seems to last as long as life itself.

I’ve experienced slow growth, plodding along ever upward. I’ve had my share of chutes—those painful times when your playing piece is sent plummeting back down the board. I’d pull myself up, gradually regaining lost ground and learning lessons in the process. However, few times have I landed on a space that catapulted me ahead in one giant leap.

One author did just that for me, in his life-changing tome that spoke to who I am and who I can become—and to how I can better love my companions in life. The book, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman, Ph.D., makes the rational case for looking on the bright side of life. Being a thinker rather than a feeler, that was the argument I needed to convince me of what many people already accept: focus on the positive.

This concept works through all aspects a person’s life, work, hobbies, relationships, and overall contentment. Of the many ways that “authentic happiness” can affect relationships, one that opened my eyes most was focusing on a loved one’s strengths.

Such an admonishment is unnecessary in the way I view my three children. Although I could probably tell you one way each of them could improve, that minor trait is always covered in my mind by their strengths. Among the three of them, I admire creativity, sense of humor, intelligence, self-discipline, a gregarious nature, and much, much more. My admiration comes naturally—they’re my kids!

Practicing the positive focus doesn’t come as naturally for me in looking at friends, coworkers, and other family members (except for the way I see my brother, who is either close to perfect or else I’m still stuck in my childhood “big brother admiration” stage!).

I soon realized, though, how much my relationships and my overall attitude towards life would be if I focused on people’s positive points instead of bemoaning the negatives. Even thinking more positive thoughts of people in my past gave a brighter sheen to my present! (Please note: this doesn’t mean ignoring lack of compatibility in courtship or serious infractions like abuse in any relationship!)

This “Love Story” is not the tale of one relationship to be admired or envied. Instead, it shares the increased love through “authentic happiness” that can be experienced in any life!